I question if I am good in design anymore... am i good enough, or have i reached a peak(even if i dont feel I have), why do i feel like I am never good enough. Its not envy its just saddness like I am just worthless. I try and try and get told I am good on and off but it has not landed me another job. Then I look at others work and then look at mine and wonder why cant I shine, everyone is shiny but me. Im not good at anything other than art, i have a passion with it, I like my work until it is next to anyone else's then I think why did I even bother. It really started to bother me tonight for some reason, but it bothered me enough to cry over it and wonder where has my life gone why is it at a stand still??
I wonder if I should look into another career... but I know I wont be happy... but it might pay the bills better. Im sitting in my coffin again, I was away for so long I cant lie down just yet, but I sit in it... but its not bringing me comfort.
what now? what do i do with myself?
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