Ever notice being a sober person in a world where people are drowning
in alcohol. Can be quiet lonely. I used to drink, but I knew my limit, only
three times I did not, but luckily I was with people I could trust. I had cut
back to nothing for months and then again I picked up again, but would
go months without a single drink. But every time I had stopped my
"friends" wouldn't contact me, as if I was some enigma, an outcast oddity.
eXcommunicate me as if I never existed. A ghost screaming behind
the mirror... but only silence in their ears. How can one dismiss another
for just not drinking anymore? But I didn't do that to others, if they didn't
drink I would invite them over to play games, chat, go somewhere to eat.
Something but just spending time with who I thought were my "friends".
a Theorization can be concluded easily is that these were never my
real friends. But this just leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but why?
what causes people to just dismiss another for changing the slum of
drinking addiction? Why would that end communication of a "friend"?
Or it just the affinity that has died?
It has been 23 months of sobriety, and the main reason is for my daughter.
I am sober to be a great mother for her, and also she is high energy and
drinking would only slow me down to catch up with my darling speedster!
But the people I knew who were acquaintances just stay silent, don't
make time to meet up, even after I have asked when are they free? But
I finally stopped asking to meet up, I get tired of trying to string people
with me, what is the point? Really what is the point when all they care
to do is go out and get drunk/tipsy to socialize as if there were no other
events in the world to attend or activities to do without drinking.
I Ruminate the memories of the past here and there, and there are days
where those where good memories and that is all they will ever be; and then
there are the days where why did it end there? Some things can be things
of the past but this is something that should be looked into more deeply!
Palaver with me, why did you stop talking or communicating? I often ask
those who have excommunicated me out of their lives. Majority didn't know
how to answer me, due to not liking to be confronted. Then the lazy answer
"we drifted apart", sure I floated away while I watch you drown in your drinks.
Also those who just never reply again as if I was fictional.
Another ghosted memory is what I should be to them, nothing I can do
with a sea of faces drowned in the confinement of alcohol.
Time to move on then, but I do wish I knew more sober people. Truly
would be nice to have company that knew how to have fun without drinking.
To go on adventures of sort and around the city. To explore new parts of the
city and just make more memories. But this time added with my daughter.
Her happiness is important to me, and to teach her that there are people who
know how to be sober and live life and really LIVE and thrive in clarity! She
needs to know that it exists and that it can be done. I can't possibly be the only
rock to her. More is better to be the example!
I Extirpate all those who just don't care to see me again, those who cant
have fun without drinking. I will be the example for my daughter and will go
on for her and show her how to live a fuller life! Just as I was taught when
I was younger!
