Cop:
Fairy:
Mad Hatter:
Random:
Thursday, October 28, 2010
"dead girls are easy..."
freshly dead cop costume, I cant stand to look normal in a costume for some reason, But as a fairy I can do that. There is more pics to come soon :)
Cop:
Fairy:
Mad Hatter:
Random:
Cop:
Fairy:
Mad Hatter:
Random:
Saturday, October 23, 2010
finally watched
I finally was able to watch Donnie Darko for the first time, no one has ever explained or summarized it for me to even watch it. Just the mer "watch it" which when said to me, wont grab m curiosity.
I love the way this is written!
Then there is Frank the Bunny which I want a tattoo of next! I know someone who will do it but I just need to draw it and stylize/personalize it for myself as well.
BUT I LOVE THE MOVIE!
it is seriously like a dream parts I have had and it made perfect sense to me. Its not a graphic its beautiful music and the cinema-photography is good and its a movie of my time and makes sense to my twisted art mind. love love it!
And its one of the movies I am watching on loop this month along with lost boys, the number 23, the science of sleep, the cell, Alice, What dreams may come, Romeo & Juliet, Let the Right One In.
Daria is a great cartoon, miss it being on but I found this and love it too!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Texas Renaissance Festival 2010
Enter a world of dreams, fantasy and another world
Fairy story time
And lots of shows to enjoy
Watch the workers working and making crafts
Parades of Fairies and all the other themes they have working there
Crystal necklaces are made for the young ones as well
Fairy naps are encouraged
all in days sighting of fantasies and dream land fills the heart with happiness and ease
More photos here
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
yes once more
my heart rebroke as i found some pics of him and I still on my mac... we looked so happy... you could never tell he was about to rip out my heart and soul... and yes i know i am an idiot to cry over him again.
But I can not help it, I gave more than 300%+ to him. heart, soul, time, memories, love, gifts, traveling to see him... but i was not worth it... was i ever? probably not, i dont know.
but it hurts to know who else is next to give me my next heartbreak.... 5 is too much already... do i deserve this pain again? i dont know...
But I can not help it, I gave more than 300%+ to him. heart, soul, time, memories, love, gifts, traveling to see him... but i was not worth it... was i ever? probably not, i dont know.
but it hurts to know who else is next to give me my next heartbreak.... 5 is too much already... do i deserve this pain again? i dont know...
the light
ode to my name aileen meaning "the light bearer" and I do enjoy taking pictures of lights or have them involved into a photograph. For a moment I froze energy and light like a frozen snowflake.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
bnw halloween october
Hold on to your demons since you will never know when you will need to unleash them. Hold on to them as if there is a monster after you and it is life or death to survive...
Enter a world where wishes are granted by the genie, she hold no remorse for your soul. Ask wisely to surivie the the path into hell...
Mr. Leprechaun meets you only to push you down into the pits of hell and laugh away at your miserable soul and dangers awaiting you ahead.
skulls skulls are everywhere, no path to walk on besides on the heads of those before you. Step over them and try not to become part of the collection...
a few more photographs here
Enter a world where wishes are granted by the genie, she hold no remorse for your soul. Ask wisely to surivie the the path into hell...
Mr. Leprechaun meets you only to push you down into the pits of hell and laugh away at your miserable soul and dangers awaiting you ahead.
skulls skulls are everywhere, no path to walk on besides on the heads of those before you. Step over them and try not to become part of the collection...
a few more photographs here
Friday, October 8, 2010
art is for life
inspired by my friend Sarah's Blog this is why I create art... I live in an art world that is fueled by my dreams, desire to breathe art, to bleed out blood droplets that makes shapes and forms. I love the way I get lost making art and how it feels when I am done and looking at what my idle hands and subconscious make in the end. What was for a second lines and random shapes form the idea that was trapped within me. Given like birth of art it free flows out like water crystals that I intake that reflow out into an ocean of creativity. I do everything as much as I can in a form of art, I even give love in a form of art. I speak poetically if not conscious of what I am saying. I can not function without it being some form of art. I would rather wither and die a thousand deaths than not feel the art that runs deep within my soul, heart, veins and mind.
art is for life.
2 good deeds & grateful
Today I did 2 good deeds, so karma points for me!
In the afternoon on the way to work there was a homeless man with a sign "trying to get home" and this made me sad so I gave him the change I had in my car plus a bottle of water so he would stay hydrated.
Then near arriving to work I stop into Canes and pick up a $25 gift card for my coworker since its his bday on saturday. When I was able to give it to him, it made his day and so happy and a big hug. Just to see him the whole day happy and smiling was worth it!
So two good deeds done without thinking and I started to realize I am much much nice to strangers now. I have learned to open up more but not trust more for sure. I would like to avoid anymore heart breaks if i can, but I doubt it I am too loving of a person so it seems. But it hit me that I am a decent enough person and I should be proud/happy of all I have done art, life, pets, and love wise. I have given my everything in all that I have done and will do. I do good work and I have good ethics even if I am rebels or over-killed myself on coffee today!
seriously too much today that I am surprised I didn't have a sugar attack, I had more sugar than I do in a week today... not good since it messes with my anxiety. But other than that I have lived a fast life and people tell me that I have lived a life of a 45-50 year old and they are surprised i strive to keep moving. Or that I am a strong girl to gone through what I have... but not once have I seen it that way since... well I always just go forward and not knowing why?
but today i realized my subconscious is more aware of all the good I have done and do and will do as well. That is my underline fuel, its why I keep going even after my soul and heart got crushed, even after the abuse, the chaos of my life. It makes me seem strong to many but I dont see it since its go go go. But I know more than ever that I can keep going on more than I am aware of since I have been depression free for a week or so. But it feels nice not to be manic depressed, but I am sure it will come back but I will enjoy now right now :)
In the afternoon on the way to work there was a homeless man with a sign "trying to get home" and this made me sad so I gave him the change I had in my car plus a bottle of water so he would stay hydrated.
Then near arriving to work I stop into Canes and pick up a $25 gift card for my coworker since its his bday on saturday. When I was able to give it to him, it made his day and so happy and a big hug. Just to see him the whole day happy and smiling was worth it!
So two good deeds done without thinking and I started to realize I am much much nice to strangers now. I have learned to open up more but not trust more for sure. I would like to avoid anymore heart breaks if i can, but I doubt it I am too loving of a person so it seems. But it hit me that I am a decent enough person and I should be proud/happy of all I have done art, life, pets, and love wise. I have given my everything in all that I have done and will do. I do good work and I have good ethics even if I am rebels or over-killed myself on coffee today!
seriously too much today that I am surprised I didn't have a sugar attack, I had more sugar than I do in a week today... not good since it messes with my anxiety. But other than that I have lived a fast life and people tell me that I have lived a life of a 45-50 year old and they are surprised i strive to keep moving. Or that I am a strong girl to gone through what I have... but not once have I seen it that way since... well I always just go forward and not knowing why?
but today i realized my subconscious is more aware of all the good I have done and do and will do as well. That is my underline fuel, its why I keep going even after my soul and heart got crushed, even after the abuse, the chaos of my life. It makes me seem strong to many but I dont see it since its go go go. But I know more than ever that I can keep going on more than I am aware of since I have been depression free for a week or so. But it feels nice not to be manic depressed, but I am sure it will come back but I will enjoy now right now :)
Monday, October 4, 2010
a simple smile
A simple smile can make one smile right back or feel calm. Last night I meet a sweet smile that was kissable, but I didnt kiss his smile. But just provoked the him to smile more. Hanging out in memory spots and not thinking of tomorrow, it was all about then and there. And for a moment I was glad to have this chance to meet another wondering soul.
But there is another smile it is quite goofy and playful and makes me playful. Just like being a child and carefree, its about then and there also and forget tomorrow, today now is the fun smile. His smile always is there when I walk by or look up since he is taller and I dont expect him. There he is smiling. A comfort for sure.
but when my goddaughter smiles this makes my heart smile and I love to make her smile.
I havent thought so much about smiles before, but they are much needed. I wonder if I will find a smile to fall in love with and keep for real and ever this time?
but for now its a smile flirt game and giving that extra love that dwells in me to those around.
But there is another smile it is quite goofy and playful and makes me playful. Just like being a child and carefree, its about then and there also and forget tomorrow, today now is the fun smile. His smile always is there when I walk by or look up since he is taller and I dont expect him. There he is smiling. A comfort for sure.
but when my goddaughter smiles this makes my heart smile and I love to make her smile.
I havent thought so much about smiles before, but they are much needed. I wonder if I will find a smile to fall in love with and keep for real and ever this time?
but for now its a smile flirt game and giving that extra love that dwells in me to those around.
hold on
Hold on to this heart for it will leave as fast as it came
this heart is done bleeding for him
it now beats for
new breathes
new life
new adventurous
new love
more hugs
more moments of fun times
more night travels
more of everything
Friday, October 1, 2010
the time came
The time came when I had to push everything I knew and felt about you behind a steel bolted door. Slowly crying I pushed hard and with what little strength I had in the beginning. But it has been sealed shut forever, a spot in my heart that holds the endless love buried alive deep within my heart. Throwing away the keys to the door.
it has been a few days since i last cried, but now that i have had sweet poison around me in a massive amounts it has been my stepping stones and way out. I walk on these steps cautiously but willingly as well. I take the sweet complements and the hugs I get or take away from others. I do it out of my exposed heart that has been much kinder now. I have gained more patience and ease at showing love/kindness.
we truly all are fighting our own battles and we all deserve kindness and good energy to ease the chaos and complications of life. And I am receiving ease and willingly taking it in.
it has been a few days since i last cried, but now that i have had sweet poison around me in a massive amounts it has been my stepping stones and way out. I walk on these steps cautiously but willingly as well. I take the sweet complements and the hugs I get or take away from others. I do it out of my exposed heart that has been much kinder now. I have gained more patience and ease at showing love/kindness.
we truly all are fighting our own battles and we all deserve kindness and good energy to ease the chaos and complications of life. And I am receiving ease and willingly taking it in.
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