Normally I don't mind scars on my body at all since I have lots of them, but on my face. It makes me feel so ugly, its there and noticeable right now, this fresh cut that has been placed on me. I know it will heal, but into a scar and already I don't think I am pretty at all, just starting to believe someone that I was. But now its as if the universal accident my cat has placed on me is to remind me that I am not pretty. And it brings me down and makes me want to hide again, and past words that have been etched into me are resurfacing, and consuming my thoughts.
Am I so ugly that I am not allowed to think otherwise? or am I worthless, am I dammed, or a waste of time? Or is it my looks that are ugly, that I am not skinny enough, or not as loving, or so distant, or no one can love me since they will leave since I'm intolerable and stubborn.
This scar opened up old scars that are gently and slowly flowing out so I remember and re-feel the pain and hurt... its winning as i sit on the edge of my coffin and think.
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