As i open by saying "I am not your mother", I don't mean in the sense of a child and mother but rather a wife telling her husband. Yes in a marriage sometimes the role of husband and wife has a u-turned into mother and son crash. After all how different really is a mother and a wife's role? They both cook, clean, pick up the mess, are there to comfort, a companion, but this is disrupted by sex. But I am sure Sigmund Freud would be right next to me telling me "See what I meant". The husbands subconscious has replaced a bad mother figure with his modern day bride who would never image she would play the role of mom.
Lets take exhibit A: Alice and Luis, two random people who meet at a concert who happen by fate had their friends talking and they talked and headed for the front of the concert. Luis was drawn to Alice immediately, and after the concert he was attached and in love with Alice's caring characteristics of asking how he was, asking if he needed this, are you comfortable, some motherly characteristics. The began to date and all was well some past family history did arise about his mother was not really a mother and not there for him while growing up, and then losing her at a young age as well didn't help the lack of mother role in Luis's life. Their relationship progressed from dating to engagement and marriage, and all was well equal commitment and compromises. Alice had not taken much motherly qualities but still had her wife title. Soon after the wedding a miscarriage occurred, and while they prepared those 3 months for the baby with items, breaking down habits and becoming more parents than the young couple they were. The mother instincts started to appear and Luis soaked them in like a sponge that had not seen water in centuries. Soon after the miscarriage the mother instincts where there for a while but began to fade out, and Luis started to descend into a child like need for a mother. Luis stops being eually helping and less compromising, and needed more attention and less chores to do and rebel as any child goes through while growing up. But it was happening all the sudden like a flood out of nowhere and it lasted a while, while Alice drowned in this sudden change and not knowing what to do or if she should take a breathe and hold it as it took her in the floods of an empty void.
Alice got the opportunity to go out of the country to where she would meet the people who were not judgmental, down to earth and striving for happiness and seeked it and conquered it. She was surrounded by these old emotions and way of life she was before her marriage started to plummet down a cliff. After 4 days there she came home to realize what had happened... she was the mother that he never had. This did not make Alice happy, so she tired to fix it and it got worse as if the husband had gotten to his "teenage rebellion" stage and would argue and get more aggregated with each other. This got to the point of driving Alice of disturbing thoughts how she was the mother with the benefit of sex, all she could hear and think was of Freud's theories and have him tell her over an over "see what i mean". Finally Alice breaks down and asks for a divorce, a week passed before Luis came to his senses and understood his wife's choice. Once again he saw her as his wife and not a mother figure, but he was too late to seize the moment and reconcile it, too much time had interrupted.
Alice did all the cooking, 95% of the cleaning, pick up after Luis, comforted him after his bad days at work or after having night terrors. This was becoming such a strain on the marriage. But any marriage has its major strains of going to work, come home do the home life chores, the bills to pay and all over again the next day. This will in all marriages and relationships as with living with someone can be a strain to adaptation. But in Alice and Luis' case they both has separate dreams they threw away to be with each other, and as soon as the problems surfaced they went ahead and seeked that directions leading to more issues and then finally the divorce.
Could their need to chase the dreams really cause a subconscious of sabotage to their marriage? Could Luis have been repressing his need for a mother while still dreaming of his true dream life that he left behind. Both of these seem to have held hands and walked him through it. Or could it had been just time to let go and move on with the wind's change?
It started with I am not your mother, from a mother to her son, then later damned from a wife to her husband. A cycle that came back from repression of the unconscious mind that would be the trigger for the divorce. There was never a difference between wife and mother aside from the sex. Its not hard for a husband to alter this in his mind and help in the downfall.
