For weeks on and off I have been dreaming my life in rewind.
I am in the hallway again looking on to see rows of doors to my left and right, the carpet is red, and the doors are silver with white door knobs to the ones I have not entered. The others are open creaked doors that are playing on old metal reels showing that part in my life. Not all of them are clear some are fuzzy and distorted. I keep walking past the open and closed doors since I can not open a door of the past I have to walk up to the point the door are white, like blank slates ready to be the next fork in my road. The walls are always black like the abyss of my thoughts. I stand still when I finally walk past my doors... and this time I look back and the memories are spilling out of the doors as if they were severed veins. They are filling the ground up and i watch the bloody memories fill up to my knees and think, was it worth it. I dont move and its going up to my shoulders now, I take a step forward and it goes down to my stomach. I keep taking small steps as i look for a door to go into, another fork in the road that could either try and break me or make me. I saw one glow gold with an image of a broken heart... I stand right in front and all the blood memories reside back into the doors. I think, "its time to break my heart once more, how else will I progress." I open the door and there is the man by the tree again waiting...
____________
another transition dream I had was at an airport on Dec4-5
I am walking with my luggage carry on though the airport lobby looking for G3-19. Its the same carry-on bag I took to Helsinki, I am wearing my purple dress with the red/black/white scarf and laptop bag in my hand. I am walking in what looks like a cross of the Houston/Amsterdam/Detroit/Jamaica/Helsinki airport all in one. The sky is bright blue as i look up at the glass sky, and grey, blue, & white colors are the interior. The crowd is only of the people I know, meet, or even random strangers I remember seeing all dressed in either winter or summer beach wear. I come up to my gate and sit down in some grey plastic chairs that are comfortable. I put the luggage under my feet, look at the ticket and clock I have an hour till I leave, but it doesn't say where. As I look up there is a man named David Icke sitting across from me and he began to speak: "we are meant to travel, at the begging of time it was by foot, then we progressed to horses, then boats, cars, and eventually made it to planes. We are meant to seek what climates we prefer and what scenery we want to see since we are given the choice to travel. Its a survival aspect that not everyone chooses, and wanting to get away is instinct." David gets up and walks away, I look to see him disappear into the familiar faces crowd. As I take a drink of water that I pulled out of my bag, another woman sits down in front of me, a stranger but i remember her colorful deco scarf. She says: "I think its wonderful your traveling and moving, don't lose hope it will happen." She gets up and leaves. The flight attendant calls over the intercom and announces its time to board the plane. I get up and head towards the door, and I look back at myself and say "its time to take this journey, no looking back ever."
____________
I do remember all my dreams, its always so clear and vivid. When I dont remember is not meant to be yet.
