I Would Do Anything For Love

endlessly

<3

still jobless

I am still jobless but I have not given up on looking for a job. I have started looking at odd jobs, one time jobs, and even retail again. But I am too moody for retail since I am impatience with idiotic customers. I can do it but its harboring a lot of anger. Well anyway I am trying and I always do good at interviews and get told I have a great portfolio and give great interviews but it seems someone is always taking the job away from me! Although I did notice one place I interviewed at 2 weeks ago has reposted needing people again... WTF?!?!!?!

I am a hard worker and very organized and do well when working. But more than ever now I need to work and save and pay off cards. But mostly save to move, the time has come to get ready to move and I am ready. Moving on in life and trying not to let life keep pushing me down!

I am tried of the random crap and walls since the divorce, seriously got divorced lost my insurance and got laid off in the same month! Hard as fuck! Then to go about a year without work on unemployment, which was strange for me sine I am a workaholic. But then luck came and i got a job it was ok, went to crappy and to disrespectful boss, it was a little bit here and there and then for 3 days straight he was beyond rude and insulting. 3 days!!! WTH, i worked hard in the back doing all the computer work that they didnt want to do plus designs, web maintenance, data entry, inventory, and print tags. I had gotten health insurance there since I needed it so the boss knew i needed the job. Well the disrespect I got was not worth it and talking it over with my parents I was able to quit.

So since May i have been jobless and well I need a job! or win the lottery, I dont really need much to survive, well it is in a way since I would love to pay off my current debt including school loans and most my debt is school loans. Killer stuff really and it will follow you where ever you go... worse than the paparazzi! But yea I need a job! or several small jobs!

Sweden

Sweden's trip is always a blast and so different from home. But I love that to mix with different cultures listen to the swedish singings and watch the human race interact with each other some more. Also being able to drink the tap water with out getting sick and lots of walking around. Such beauty in the details of the older buildings and this time I got to go into a swedish house it was very cute and different layouts from here. I could tell they were just made to live in but not form and function design wise, but still cute :) But still its these differences that make me happy but make me feel more at home since its a clash and yet I can see it tying well together like a blank canvas and a color paintbrush. Something about it is so magical and worth it. Plus lots of fresh air to breathe in is always so nice! And now for some pics more can be seen here: FB Fan page also here JPG:Leen, and over these next two days I should add soem prints for sale here on my redbubble page

songs

to match my aching heart...

just a survey why not

If I were a fruit I'd be...
strawberry

If I were a color I'd be...
teal

If I were an animal I'd be...
cat

If I were a book I'd be...
a depressing one

If I were a clothing item I'd be...
the shirt mike wears

If I were a jewel I'd be...
moonstone

If I were an object I'd be...
marker

If I were a car I'd be...
broken down car rusting away

If I were an element I'd be...
water

If I were a tree I'd be...
ancient and old

If I were a drink I'd be...
hurricane

If I were an ice cream flavor I'd be...
cream leen

If I were a person I'd be...
a better person

If I were a planet I'd be...
pluto

If I were an insect I'd be...
beetle

If I were a public transport I'd be...
train

If I were a song I'd be...
"dreams in fiction" - orgy

If I were a movie I'd be...
what dreams may come

If I were a season I'd be...
winter

If I were a flower I'd be...
crushed one

If I were a career I'd be...
art

If I were a cartoon I'd be...
anime

If I were a place I'd be...
the ocean

If I were a gift I'd be...
the love that never ends for you

If I were a memory I'd be...
someone's love of their life

If I were a city I'd be...
ruins of rome

If I were a sense I'd be...
feel

If I were a game I'd be...
final fantasy

If I were a time of the day I'd be...
2am

If I were a body part I'd be...
heart

If I were a smell I'd be...
cookies baking

If I were a subject I'd be...
art

If I were a bird I'd be...
crow

If I were a month I'd be...
october

If I were a perfume I'd be...
versace "bright crystals"

If I were a gummy candy I'd be...
sour worms

If I were a toy I'd be...
the one you never let go of

If I were a textile I'd be...
silk

If I were a shape I'd be...
star

If I were an answer I'd be...
wrong

If I were a word I'd be...
endless

If I were an invention I'd be...
the lightbulb to light your way

If I were a phone call I'd be...
one for happiness

Enter a universe in which reality and imagination blurs. Where emotions are the words and words are invisible. Feelings are the key to the different worlds locked inside of my universe. A universe that grasps all your senses and overwhelms.
will you stay? or will you leave?

update!

finally had time to add the banners and wallpapers! maybe tomorrow I update photography/art/GD
http://www.leenstar.com/

emptyness

this image gives such an empty feeling in my heart. I see the tricycle drowning in the rain's rising flooding puddle as if it were someone lost childhood. Lonely, abandoned and all the happy moments are just drowning in the adult that is crying and drowning the memories aways. As if that will make up for the bad or good one felt as a child. Or also that simple times and simple joys are gone and those emotions we once felt as a child will not ever return to be the same. They drown away as if it never was there once.

forever...

it seems

like my soul is trapped behind a mirror and I can not reach it, it is in three parts. A Part in the future, another part in the present and then the last part in the past. It pulls at me like there is no time in the world when in fact it seems time has slowed down again and left me frozen on the spot in 3 parts. Feeling like a butterfly pinned down and watching myself fall apart in all three mirrors and there is nothing I can do.


then there is the heart its been acting up emotionally and physically... heart aches are very real and can ruin a whole day... there is no beauty in my heart as there is here in my photograph. But my heart is bigger than the space around it beating so much love over and over its endless. Its my love for him, but my heart feels smaller than the second heart... withering and fading into the background, lost as it could be...

Vote for me!

I finally had time to pick images and enter this contest vote for me!
http://www.artistswanted.org/leenstaraileen

Sing a song

sing a song to move us all, play a song to pull our souls in, dance a song to move the earth....










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