Thursday, January 22, 2015

the good karma tsunami

How is it almost 3am! I have been working on my concepts for my children's book artwork, I finally decided where to start! But it is just the first vector before I tweak it more, and decide on the colors. The characters for that part are chosen/drawn/colorized. I just need to tweak the face of one.

Prior to that I was working on a client's photobook! Meeting soon! Im excited always to make books!

Also there is 1 more day till I go into a meeting to have my toy designs sold with another vendor in their store! I meet them at a show we were both selling and they also purchased from me! So that is beyond awesome to be picked up like this and to test these waters! Moving forward even more in this skill makes me happy!

I also got requested to do an interview for the freelance site I am on, and according to them not even 1% of the account holders get this privilege, that has me feeling very blessed and screaming yesssssss! Plus holding back tears! 6-8 weeks till it goes live!

GO Go go!
keep the good karma tsunami going!
No need to slow down, just keep running forward
and if a wall tries to go up, I need to jump it or run vertical!
the time is now!

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Time Shift or Shifted Fates?

Every once in a while now since the blog challenges I have unearth the net to find topics. At least to consider writing about or at least sit in my mind and engage into thoughts.
This one hit me on many levels, it was a turning point, a shift in time to where I am now, or shifted me from my fate.
"That thing that happened in high school that pretty much changed your life forever"
Now it is cliche to say that everyone changes in highschool since it is a transitional time, but it is typically for the better, but what about those unfortunately becomes a setback?

It was a setback for sure, and although I am over it it has cause the issue of trust, lack of trust, not wanting to trust. What is the point of trust somedays I wonder?

Trust
noun: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
"relations have to be built on trust"
"good relationships are built on trust"

Good relationships, what if you have all those relationships wiped out in an instant? Where does that lead one towards? Good question I still wonder that from time to time, but it is less scrutinized overall.

I was dating this guy that not many wanted to date but I did and I put him into my circle of friends who it seems they were building stronger relationships with each other, and probably leaving me out of group. But it wasn't apparent till I broke off that relationship. They ' know or ask me why either. But I did because he pulled me by my hair and tried to accuse me of something ludicrous. I was angry and decided the next day it was over. So I ended my relationship wit him. But 2 of my closest friends, people who I had known since Elementary and jr. high, and who I figured I would stay friends with for the rest of my life. They turned the tables on me, they comforted the ex too much and turned friendships against me to side with the ex, not a few years of friendship I m talking about 8 years of friendships. But it wasn't instant, they waited till I was approached by another guy and dated month later. Falseness in the works. I was basically friendless for a year and half the last years of high school. Those that were acquaintances came to comfort me, I didn't expect it, and made me realize to never ever overlook people's kindness.

But I put an iron wall in between me and everyone.

Then I find out while in college those "friends" were after the ex and even slept with him. What was the point of the betrayal only to date/fuck/benefit with him? Shouldn't they had just been glad it was over and moved on? I could of cared less if they dated him after it was over, but no they had to make an issue. Strange logic.

So the wall is up and everytime I do let it down I get hurt even more, makes no sense. And since that incident I attack fakes and bad people as I am the flame and they are the parasites after it.

It is not all bad I have found/meet a handful which I can call friends and talk to frequently.

high school is strange, love and envy is worse.






Monday, January 12, 2015

A thanks to you

Without you the world is a bleak morning,
the path out the door or in the house is slate gray.
because of you I want to arouse to your powerful
yet sweet intoxicating aroma that bends corners and
lingers on my lips after we parted. the warmth on my
lips seeths down and enriches into a new me.
A me that is fully enlightened and unblinded to the
day or the comfort of the night. My hand holds your
warmth until we must part our separate ways. But it
best when we are together, next to each other so I
can just reach out to taste your sweet smell that fills
my lungs and bellows into my stomach. Down to
the last drop of you, I am but a vampire in your eyes.
I take and take from you but nothing in return.
My lips want more but you are empty, desolate and cold.

thank you my cup of coffee


Random creative post, a thank you letter hiding what you are till the end 

The history of Aileen

Aileen is the name my father picked from a baby book in the 80's he said it appealed to him since it was not the usual names and he wanted it to be unique. Thus finding my soul and pulling me into this world. What is in a name or the origin of the name. Names change as they are spoken in each language, but we forget that and just stick to our name. I am ok most of the time being called by different versions of my name, for thai people my name aileen goes to aireen, and some salvadorans alter my name to arilee. I have only one aunt who keeps calling me Aileena, not sure why the extra "a". Either way it is interesting. Then there is the meaning behind the name, are they the same in each language or do they vary? Then have there been important people with this name, or has this name been important at one point in history?

Aileen a name I wasn't always found of only because I couldn't find name plates or keychains with my name, it made me feel lonely and not special and an outsider to the world of names. But as i grew and had classes with several people with the same name, I felt unique and happy to not be part cookie cutter names.

Origins, Variations & Meanings:
The name Aileen is:
- of the greek name Helen.
- an Irish name. It means light, or the light bearer. From the name Eibhlin.
- a Scottish name and it means green meadow, the other variation is Eileen.
- French version of Aveline
- German version is Avila or Aveza.
- Dutch version is Eveline
- Finish version is Eveliina
- Italian version is Evelina
- Swedish version is Evelina

I could only find these differences, they seem to be the most common and a few harder to find. The name seems to only stay associated with light but in Scotland it means green meadow. On a random find I did find this According to sheknows.com
SoulUrge Number: 2People with this name have a deep inner desire for love and companionship, and want to work with others to achieve peace and harmony.
Expression Number: 1People with this name tend to initiate events, to be leaders rather than followers, with powerful personalities. They tend to be focused on specific goals, experience a wealth of creative new ideas, and have the ability to implement these ideas with efficiency and determination. They tend to be courageous and sometimes aggressive. As unique, creative individuals, they tend to resent authority, and are sometimes stubborn, proud, and impatient.
I have had the chance to meet a few other Aileen's in person and they were all creative people, quite fascinating to think a name could be linked to what we like or have a passion for as well. The Aileen's I have met online as well had creative outlets.

Important people named Aileen:
Aileen Pringle was a highly successful and popular stage and film actress during the silent film era.

Aileen Quinn is an American actress who played the title role in the 1982 film version of Annie.

Aileen Stanley was a United States popular singer. Stanley performed on vaudeville and in cabarets. In 1920 she made a hit in New York City in the review show "Silks And Satins".

Aileen Aletha Meagher was a Canadian athlete who competed mainly in the 100 metres.

Aileen Paterson is a Scottish writer and illustrator, best known for her series of children's books about Maisie the kitten.

Aileen Britton was an Australian actress that made her acting debut in Tall Timbers in 1937. She then worked on stage until the reemergence of Australian cinema in the mid-1970s.

Professor Aileen Plant was a leading Australian infectious diseases epidemiologist.

Aileen Mary Fox (née Henderson) was one of the first women to work as a professional archaeologist in the UK.

Aileen Raymond was a British stage actress.

Aileen Fisher is a prominent writer for children. Her works appear in many texts across the globe.

Aileen Tan is a versatile actress in Singapore. Because of her age, Singaporeans seldom see her on television nowadays.

Aileen Riggin Soule was an American Olympic gold medalist swimmer and diver.

Aileen Wornoos serial killer

Plenty more at famous Aileen's here


Songs:
“Come on Eileen” is the most known one and the one my 3rd grade teacher sand each time she called my name.
There are a few other songs with the title "Aileen" here


Books:
Aileen’s Song


With these many Aileen's you would think I could find a keychain with my name one it, maybe 2015 will be the year I find one!

Monday, January 5, 2015

Challenge: Museum of Me

The Challenge from Sarah:
In 10,000 years from now, people are walking around a museum filled with artefacts from our time. Behind glass cases there sits five of your own possessions, with a little white info card for each one. The various items paint the visitors' an idea of who you were, how you lived, what you liked, what you did etc etc....

Leenism tool artifacts
{All illustrations are been drawn by me (leenstaraileen) and are quick concepts}

{:one:} Vision of a Leenstar
My first glasses, glasses before lasik, perfection vision glass, glasses after lasik, and final glasses. Glasses would be facing the wall and the visitor would be able to peer to each glasses to see how my vision deteriorated to perfected and fell again. in 10,000 years from now glasses may be a thing of the past and may never have to experience this problem. Since vision is a very important gift/senses to me it has been the gateway to what I have seen and how I see to shape who I am now.



{:two:} Book of art & drawings
Sketchbook that is filled traditional arts. As well with 1 pen, 1 marker, 1 crayon, 1 paintbrush & 1 color pencil cast into the cover to preserve the tools of my time, in 10,000 i hope there are light pens or art created with energy and other such magical sounding ways to make new art or digital art has advanced so much it will seem like a relic what I used. Not only that it was drawing that lead me to all kinds of art that made my soul very happy.



{:three:} Digital Arts
A wacom tablet that has been revamped to a slideshow of different digital drawings made while the pen glides across the screen ever so slowly as if it were an automaton. Drawing tablets may not be around in 10,000 years. My tablet is another tool I used in my life and also shows a progression in drawing.



{:four:} frozen memory
my Rolleiflex & last camera melted on the bottom to look as if flying up from the darkness.  with extra up leaks to hold 5-6 photos. Art & photography go hand in hand and another tool that is important in my life. Also I am sure the camera will be advanced enough to match our eyes in megapixel that the camera body may not even exist in 10,000 years.



{:five:} Coffee Dreams
A stylized black mug with a photo of Alice, cats and & I with frozen resin coffee with heart and little star gems splashing up. This way the visitor will be able to place a face on my ghost and also know that even though I drank coffee it was the energy that kept me up with my mini family. Coffee could be extinct in 10,000 years who knows.

Friday, January 2, 2015

10 day Challenge: day 1

Last challenge Day 1
.:{One Picture}:.


Wednesday, December 31, 2014

10 day challenge: day 2

Day 2

Two Songs




:||One:{ Fiction (Dreams In Digital) ~ Orgy}

 It is a bond I share with the song and my dream world in a collision of stars.
Since I heard this song, it seems to be the theme song to all my dreams, something about the music composition just flows and feels like when I am asleep.


:||Two:{Tomorrow Never Knows ~ The Beatles}
Video Link
Just something about this song I really love, it feels like a soul.
The newer version also feels right.


Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Colors & Me

Teal  :  White  :  Black  :  Magenta

||:{TEAL}:||

Pantone 19-4227(indian teal) & Pantone 320C (turquoise) to be specific
Teal is the color of calm ocean and radiant starry night from my dreamworld, anytime I am there it is quiet and peaceful as well as safe. Wearing teal keeps me level headed, but teal eyeshadow screams look at my shiny soul gateway. Teal jewelry makes me feel elegant and if I am not dressed up I dont wear it. As well as a teal mug makes my coffee feel like velvet going down my throat. 320C is ideally the color skin I would of loved to been born with, and my hair has been this color as well, but fading quite gross. Teal shoes make me feel like I can run anywhere. Teal nail polish makes me feel invincible to all. 




||:{White}:||


White is calm and snowy suede that is as Fluffy and airy as popcorn. Even though I love my popcorn dripping in butter! White feels soft. Wearing white makes em feel invisible and like a ghost I can move around without being bothered. A white canvas is just an invitation to be artistic. White animals say love me and ruffle my fur. White pants means bloody troubles, like an omen. But white hair is beauty like a majestic creature. A white fox feels like a hero. White pink is enchanting to me even if don't own a single one at the moment. 




||:{Black}:||



Black coffee, black nights, black color blood in the night, darkness when the creativity sparks. The absence of color but in reality it is all colors in one absorbed together living in harmony. Black is calming and homely feeling. Black silk wraps around the shadows. Black the color of clothing and hero's outfits when battling nightmares. Black wings torn in sacrifice to save loved ones. Black tastes melodic and sweet melancholy is the sugar to black. Black cats are my favorite since they are my familiar. The blackness surrounding a shattered broken heart only to hug it back into one piece, a gentle hug. Black coffin to symbolise resurrection and survival.



||:{Magenta}:||

 Magenta the color of untainted love, the color of new love, the feel of creamy custard, the sound of victory. Magenta the silence in the rain. I love when my hair is magenta it makes me feel beautiful. magenta earrings to enchain girlyness. Magenta screams at broken heart for it is the color of healing and invites a new love. Magenta lets try again feeling. Magenta nails drip to creativity. But magenta blanket is too loud to sleep with or cover. Magenta sharpie is the master labeler. Magenta Process 122 is a lovely shade for roses and cupcakes, they are tasty and smell sweet.


The association of colors briefing

Color theory, color association, color moods, color color color. The world of colors is a powerful one and there has been information embedded into our minds about what certain colors are certain moods, sounds, tastes, but there is also how we as individuals associate each color with as well.

For example majority of people associate yellow with happy, as influenced by the smiley face in 1963 by Harvey Ball{read the history here}. But to me yellow means headache/migraine and color loss. Or such a color like Blue meaning sad, or serene and if you eat on a blue plate you have less of an appetite. Such associations have been assigned, most are commonly acknowledged while others make you you question why?

Another reason some colors may not associate with some people is due to synesthesia disorder, I don't see it as a disorder since I have it, it was once 1 in every million people. But the numbers have become common and not all are aware of it. I only did because my guitar teacher had it and pointed me a book on it.
Synesthesia is considered a neurological phenomenon in which the sensory or cognitive part of our brains are crossed and happen to another pathway of the senses. Such as tasting colors, sounds are colors, shapes are tastes, liquids are shapes. Many more fun examples. When I drink water it is like I am swallowing spiked crystals, or certain colors are smooth to my ears. Many more examples that I rather you not raise your eyebrow at me. I have learned to stay quiet about it but it tends to leak into my artwork and dreams.



My favorite colors have changed on and off as I grow older, first it was purple then it jumped to black, then black and white. Now its Teal, white, black and magenta that are my favorites. There are certain shades I do like but not made it to my favorites. The leap into color happened when I learned about Josef Albers's Color Theory. I was able to go to one of his traveling exhibits and saw his hand made book in which he taught some great artists of his time. Only 3 of the original made books with his students works included are valued at $5000. It opened my eyes to colors even more, and I appreciate color much more.

They way a color will look like it is vibrating next to each other or the same color is placed on 2 colors at once and each side will look like a different shade but in fact it is the same colors, is truly fascinating.






10 day challenge: day 3

day 3


three films- I already did a 10 films entry so
I will choose 3 different actor's who's films
I adore them in and can watch over and over.



One
Love & Other Drugs- Jake Gyllenhaal
Seriously a chic flick something I don't watch. but swooon swooooon and whoah! plus I cried. Its really is a sweet movie. I cant watch this in a row like some of his other movies, but this one touched my heart hoping there are sweet guys like this that go through to find a cure.



Two
Hannibal - Anthony Hopkins
The lighting and cinematography was just beautiful and it out hannibal out in the open, even if Silence of the Lambs was much more powerful I can watch Hannibal more. Not only that but it is set in Florence and the beauty of the city is wonderful! I hope to walk the same paths one day as they did in the movie! Even if it wasn't always there still would be nice to visit. 

Three
What Dreams May Come - Robin Williams
This movie will always be in any list I have to make, it is powerful, tear jerker and reaches your soul, Robin was perfect for this movie and the love he played and the journey back to his soulmate is mesmerizing! 
Heaven
Hell
 (dante's inferno inspiration sea of faces)
                       

Monday, December 29, 2014

10 day challenge: day 4

Day 4

four books



{:O N E:}::{T h e  L o r a x}
A childhood story, with so much meaning and hope of saving the tree's and the dangers of man's selfishness. It maybe short but it's message is powerful. The movie was not bad but luckily they kept the spirit of the book alive. While Dr. Seuss is known as a children's author, he was also an artist for propaganda during the wars. I don't remember Dr. Seuss whole story but I cam glad he wrote this book and many others that are still favorites.

{:T W O:}::{T h e  L i t t l e  P r i n c e}
I just love this book, I have memories of my dad reading it to me when I was small then watching the movie later on. I also have this book for alice in english, spanish and even korean. My dad loves it and I hope he will also read it to my daughter. The little prince is also inspirational but I see it more in the hispanic community. Not sure why but either way the explanation Antonine de Saint-Exupéry of how an adult loses his inner child is simple but accurate. This book is good to use when citing in an essay.


{:T H R E E:}::{ A l i c e  i n  W o n d e r l a n d  &
 T h r o u g h  t h e  l o o k i n g  g l a s s}

These books are easily also one of the top inspirational books, majority of people in any society and part of the world can give you a brief synopsis of the story. And many more artists can show you the influence that was sparked about reading the books. I loved the story since I was little and loved it even more when I finally actually read both books. My dreams loved it, and now my daughter is named Alice. But in reality there was a time with Lewis Carroll photographed 2 girls at different times, an Alice & an Aileen. it was meant to be!

{:F O U R:}::{ 1 9 8 4}
I read this in highschool but it left an impact and I started to notice the influence & inspiration  everywhere I looked and watched. It is a great book to use in an argument in any subject essay. There are so many open links that can be referenced back to 1984. George Orwell was truly ahead of his time and a great writer. I have read 2 other books of his and they linger in my memories, or maybe Big Brother is watching...


Sunday, December 28, 2014

10 day challenge: day 5

Day 5

five foods


.:I:.


Bubble Tea, it is a small snack for me and yummy! 
Especially Mango, Pineapple & Thai Tea!

.:II:.

Asian Food!
From Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Korean and Vietnamese! 

.:III:.

Cupcake


.:IV:.

Doritos... forever! 

.:V:.

Popcorn affinity! 

I decided to draw the foods all cute/kawaii style :)
another reason to draw and color :)

Saturday, December 27, 2014

10 day challenge: day 6

Day 6
six places

One:{ Monterrey, Mexico }
City of Heritage and family, although I was born in Dallas, TX the rest of my family is in Mexico, over the years many have migrated towards texas. There are many memories in mexico growing up. I got to experience little general stores, going to comic book stores, the street markets and much more! I love it there more as an adult as a child I had mix feelings.


One:{ Negril, Jamaica }
City of serenity, there is such a calm atmosphere and relaxation in Negril, the people knew how to relax and enjoy life. It was also the first time I got to see clear waters.



One:{ Helsinki, Finland }
City of friendships, a turning point in my life and the place where I have meet some of the greatest friendships I will ever have, although we all came from different parts of the world, we where connected in Helsinki.


 


One:{ Stockholm, Sweden }
City of Love & Dreams, I wanted to live here and I almost made that reality but then my heart was destroyed and that dream was lost. But I was able to travel over 5 times to Stockholm happily. Even if my heart was torn this city will alway make me happy and feel at home!

One:{ Toronto, Canada }
City of Snow & Amanda, I love the fact I was able to visit Amanda and explore Toronto with her. As well as being able to go to my favorite director's art Exhibition. It was so cold when I went but I was happy and not only that but I won all the roll up contest and gave it to Amanda. Free coffee & donuts for her.


One:{ Schiphol, Amsterdam Airport }
Lastly an airport, yes an airport this airport connected me to europe the most it is a city within the airport and amazingling large. And every time I had to run from one end of the terminal to the other side of the airport. Luckily I had enough time to make it but still had to run! I even had to stay overnight 12 hours and that was a journey in itself with 2 friends. Such memorious place! 


In 2015 I will be able to add another city and visit Sarah!