music to the core

Most people will tell you they can't live without music or that it feeds their souls or such things. But not me, it once soothed my soul and lifted my spirits or engulfed me in a warm embrace with words of others who had felt the same. As if all humans crosses these paths that linked to pain, joy and rage, like a moth to the flame.

Music is for love, for souls, hope, heartbreak and many more emotions we associate not only is it the twist of the words but the lucid sounds of the instruments strumming and banging away to reach to us. A melody of life or a lullaby of death...

I closed my soul off to music years ago after one of my hardest heart breaks. He was a musician, he knew the right words to say to lift and fill a soul. Hell a whole album was dedicated to our love... in the end the relationship ended as the score/song ended. It began in an adagio then into a powerful ballad then ended in a low grave of silence. Since that day my soul calloused shut out all music. I could hear it, I can remember memories but it did not move me, nor lift me or feed my imagination toward musings. Nothing it became the regular static noise everyday then slowly music became largo and has stated in the state of largo.

But every once in a while there are very few song; ones I haven't heard in ages, although trapped in my plethora of songs in my ipod. That will rip through my soul like beams of light and energize a corpse part of my soul and in that moment I am invincible in thought and musings. If I am lucky a cluster of songs will have that power and everything is well in my soul, heart and mind. But then there are the few that are spread out and act like strong heartbeats of life grasping to come out and be freed to listen to music once more as if it were my oxygen.

But it is not often, and I harden my soul once more. I dont do it on purpose it just sort of happens, one of many life goes on lessons to leave things in the darkness of the past. Or just a mechanism to save what is left of a crushed soul to keep going and not be swept into the void of nothing.